27 Comments
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Rouge Noir's avatar

What a fantastic answer and the Rilke quote is perfect. Thank you so much Phillips that has touched me deeply. You are wise.

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Helen Clarke's avatar

This answer is so wonderful I read the whole thing twice and may well do again. Thank you x

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Katrin Dettmer's avatar

Thank you for this beautiful reminder to be more self-compassionate, Philippa, and the encouragement to be there for our inner child, especially when everything else seems to be so overwhelming.

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Rita Symon's avatar

Such an insightful response to a lovely person.

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Elaine R. Frieman's avatar

🥹🫶🏻

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Rozzi's avatar

Such a beautiful, compassionate response. One to savour and return to.

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Josh Moll's avatar

So much love for this answer ❤️

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Tan's avatar

As difficult as it sometimes is, it is very important to see our parents as flawed human beings trying to do their best for the child us.

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Megan Stanley's avatar

Sometimes this can be harmful, however. I practiced compassion for a long time but it came at the expense of silencing my own voice and repressing the feelings, causing a huge amount of damage in my personal life. If parents are still behaving in a way that can be damaging, compassion that isn’t self-directed can be problematic.

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Victoria Pickard's avatar

What a wonderful answer - I’ve taken a lot from this, thank you x

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Sue Reed's avatar

Such a powerful question and answer that resonates deeply with me. It is no coincidence that my therapist also gave me that quote by Rilke. Thank you ❤️

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Ben Catley-Richardson's avatar

The hugging yourself thing is real, it works and it’s worth taking seriously 🙏

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Emily Lovegrove's avatar

I’ve probably always suffered with what I think is termed rejection dysphasia. However, whilst meditating recently I suddenly ‘saw’ myself as a toddler - utterly distraught, sobbing and sobbing, but still being shouted at and smacked. So 10 days ago I started doing exactly this hugging and holding safe as a daily practice.

It’s made the most enormous, fundamental difference to how I now react to any seeming rejection.

I finally recognise, aged 78, it was not my fault. I’m not, as I was endlessly told, the problem, and I’m not unlovable.

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Ben Catley-Richardson's avatar

❤️ such an amazing thing to do

On a related note I had hypnotherapy earlier this year, part of which involved visualising me descending a staircase. At the bottom I discovered a version of myself, incredibly pleased to see me, who hugged me and started ‘showing me around’. I made sure to take him back up the stairs when we left

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Charlotte Wright's avatar

Gorgeous answer ❤️

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Helena's avatar

This is beautiful, you’ve given this person’s inner child the hug she needed with your wonderful words, I truly hope she feels it x

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Pippa Vaughan's avatar

Serendipity. Reading this at a moment when it happens to resonate profoundly. You are so good at helping the hurt and the vulnerable with all things, big and small. And the ‘further reading’ suggestions are always spot-on. Thank you!

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Saved by Grace's avatar

'You were cast in the role of protector even before you had a chance to be protected'....so very powerful and that landed right in the core of me. Thank you 😊 🙏

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Miranda Brown's avatar

Incredibly helpful, thank you 🙏

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