I think Rightmove scrolling is just another modern equivalent. I used to spend a fortune on the glossy home magazines, pore over them. and get annoyed that they were never houses that looked like mine, a 1970s box. I eventually came to realise I could save a fortune and stop comparing my house to an unrealistic comparison. I love to walk into a house now that is autobiographical and “read” the stuff…the music they listen to and the books on the shelves (compare that with the recent fad of hiding the “ugly” book spines. I love to see how people use space, not what fancy stuff they’ve accumulated.
Brilliant & helpful. Reading your replies keeps everything where it should be in my mind. And if my thinking has gone askew your words just nudge my helpful thoughts back to where they should be and the unhelpful ones are evicted.
Lovely advice! I'm also an external referencer and it leads to nothing good. That feeling of 'If only I had x, everything would be perfect' but x changes constantly so it's absolutely shattering.
Thanks Philippa, very grounding. I wonder how we determine when these feelings are about safety and past expectations or whether something isn’t right in our current situation / we’re not meeting our needs and should be changing something. Asking this as someone in 30s without children…
Thank you for this kind and thoughtful reaponse. I think advertising and social media also stoke up feelings of "not good enough" so much; if you're already anxious and insecure it really preys on that.
I relate to this, when I start doing it, I'm usually unhappy about something else. The advice to stop thoughts from taking the wheel, whilst acknowledging them, is so solid and helpful.
Ooof I needed this xx
Was it the Rightmove scrolling?
I think Rightmove scrolling is just another modern equivalent. I used to spend a fortune on the glossy home magazines, pore over them. and get annoyed that they were never houses that looked like mine, a 1970s box. I eventually came to realise I could save a fortune and stop comparing my house to an unrealistic comparison. I love to walk into a house now that is autobiographical and “read” the stuff…the music they listen to and the books on the shelves (compare that with the recent fad of hiding the “ugly” book spines. I love to see how people use space, not what fancy stuff they’ve accumulated.
And as @IndiaKnight said this week, a home with charm and heart and soul, not an immaculate showpiece!
Hahaha... well... yes.
You are so wise with compassion and empathy- such a wonderful combination ❤️
Me too!
Brilliant & helpful. Reading your replies keeps everything where it should be in my mind. And if my thinking has gone askew your words just nudge my helpful thoughts back to where they should be and the unhelpful ones are evicted.
For me it's the fashion magazine and website..if only I could look like that ...
Lovely advice! I'm also an external referencer and it leads to nothing good. That feeling of 'If only I had x, everything would be perfect' but x changes constantly so it's absolutely shattering.
Awareness is the key. And you’ve got that.
Me as well!
Thanks Philippa, very grounding. I wonder how we determine when these feelings are about safety and past expectations or whether something isn’t right in our current situation / we’re not meeting our needs and should be changing something. Asking this as someone in 30s without children…
Thank you for this kind and thoughtful reaponse. I think advertising and social media also stoke up feelings of "not good enough" so much; if you're already anxious and insecure it really preys on that.
So helpful! This was a “hard relate” for me. Thank you for your work.
I relate to this, when I start doing it, I'm usually unhappy about something else. The advice to stop thoughts from taking the wheel, whilst acknowledging them, is so solid and helpful.
Miss you. Great post
Hi Lindsey! Great that you are here on Substack. ❤️