Understanding a Sensitive Child’s Big Feelings
Children's emotional outbursts
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Hi Philippa,
My 6 year old boy is a loving, cheeky and sweet boy. He has always been sensitive and emotional, and has a lot of empathy to other people’s feelings. He feels emotions really deeply, especially when it comes to his relationship with me.
I have had an issue for a while that whenever I correct his behavior or ‘tell him off’, he retorts with “oh fine, you hate me then”. I have tried correcting him in the most gentle, calm way that I can, and have explained how much I love him and that it’s my ‘job’ as his mum to tell him when he is overstepping, being mean, rude or out of line.
I feel like he needs to know when his behaviour is unacceptable and where the boundary is. I can’t let him think no that certain behavior is ok. For example, unprovoked hitting/ kicking his little brother (3 years), swearing, calling me names, deliberately trashing stuff around the house.
Recently he has also started saying “I’m going to kill myself” and “you love little brother more than me” whenever I call out his behavior . Is this “normal” behavior for a 6 year old? I partly feel like he’s saying it for attention, partly so that I ‘can’t’ tell him off, and partly because feels genuinely upset when I say anything that he perceives as negative towards him, even when I try to do this in the most compassionate, patient and gentle way that I can.
Any advice how to navigate this would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I am failing as a parent and his feeling that I ‘dont love him’ is going to have lasting implications to his self esteem. I feel like my relationship with him is being damaged by this dynamic, which is perhaps part of the problem..?
Thank you
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