The following exercise is adapted from my book “How To Stay Sane”. It’s useful if you suffer from anxiety, obsession, dopamine addiction, depression or just what to know yourself better. It’s therapy without a therapist and it takes 30 minutes.
Commit to doing this exercise and allotting the full thirty minutes to it.
Get yourself a notebook and something to write with. Turn off the phone, computer, radio and television.
Resolve not to pick up a book or a newspaper, and choose a time when you will not be disturbed.
Get yourself a clock or stopwatch and set it for 30 minutes.
Sit with your back supported. You can put your feet up but do not lie down, as you may go to sleep, which is not the purpose of this exercise.
Focus your attention on your breathing and empty your mind of other thoughts.
Thoughts will come into your head but do not stay with any one thought. Label it and write it on your pad with one or two words, then let it go. Concentrate on your breath.
When the next thought comes into your mind, do the same thing. If the urge to stop the exercise comes into your mind, treat that like any other thought, jot it down and focus your attention back on your breathing.
Do this for thirty minutes. Now look at all the thoughts you have written down, sort them into one of the following categories and then total the thoughts in each category:
Sensory-awareness thoughts: e.g. sounds, sights smells sensations;
Planning thoughts: to-do lists of wants or needs;
Anxiety-provoking thoughts: worries or self-deprecating thoughts;
Playing back of memories;
Fantasies about situations, relationships or events (what if…) comes under this category;
Envious, angry, rebellious, critical thoughts: wanting to stop the exercise or critical thoughts about others;
Feelings;
Take-over: any thoughts you were unable to clear and that took over the exercise;
You can add more categories to suit the types of thoughts you have.
The aim of the exercise is first to see what happens for you; for you to notice how you experience the exercise. You are probably pretty good at noticing the words you use as you talk to yourself, but it is interesting to listen to those thoughts that do not have words. Secondly, this thirty-minute sample of your thoughts might be an indication of the percentage of your daily thoughts in the various different areas; so, for example, if you spend 80 per cent of your thinking life in fantasy and 20 per cent feeling critical, you can look at that and think: ‘I have a choice. I may want to experiment. Perhaps it would be more satisfying to allot more of my thinking time to noticing what I can see or smell or if I focused instead on what I appreciate?’
The point of the exercise is to become more self-aware. You might notice if feelings follow thoughts, or if your thoughts follow feelings. You cannot change anything unless you know what it is you are changing. The only way you can get this exercise wrong is to not do it, or abandon it early. But even then you can start again.
Practice what you preach, so I’ve just done it. I noticed I had quite a lot of resistance to doing the exercise – five protests, I notice on the pad. The other thing I noticed is that all the protests happened in the first ten minutes and that the first half seemed to go slowly, then I surrendered to the exercise and I noticed a feeling of loneliness which faded as I continued to observe myself. The second half almost went too fast, and I was sorry when it was over. After I had finished resisting it, it felt as if I was keeping myself company and that was a good feeling. I wonder if that was because I was then open to what popped into my head? I’m not sure what that resistance is about but it felt very familiar. I do find it incredible how a simple exercise like this really does feel like I paid myself some positive attention and gained from it. I notice in the first half I had mostly anxiety inducing thoughts or rebelliousness and in the second half more sensory awareness thoughts.
When we do the exercise once a week and compare the results, we can monitor changes in our thinking patterns. It also lets us get a feel for which thoughts foster our creativity and curiosity and may lead to growth, and those that, by contrast, lead us down the dead-end of post-rationalisation and panic!
Sitting still for half an hour with no external stimulation, especially no smart phone, may change us for the better. You lose thirty minutes to reels sometimes, lose thirty minutes to yourself. I never said being your own therapist wouldn’t take hard work and persistence.
Write to me with any problem or dilemma at AskPhilippa@yahoo.com Subject to Terms and Conditions
Ooh I like this. I can clear my head to meditate but have never used the clearing process to understand myself better and where my imbalances and problems are. I'm going to this once a week for a month and see what happens. Possibly an addiction to doing it, of course!
Thank you Philippa - this is excellent and I am going to do it. I use daily writing to try and navigate things but your exercise is far more specific and I am sure will be more helpful. ❤️