Frenemies

Have you got a frenemy? Or are you a frenemy?

When Friendships Turn: Understanding Frenemies

The other day I was doing live Q & A on itv’s This Morning program, and viewers were asked to send in their problems on friendships and frenemies. I also asked my Facebook friends what their experience of frenemies were and from that not entirely scientific sample I came to these conclusions.

Some friendships leave you better than they found you. Others leave you confused, drained, and second-guessing yourself. If you walk away from time together feeling depleted, uneasy, or smaller than when you arrived, you may not be imagining it. You might be dealing with a frenemy.

Frenemies often arrive cloaked in intense charm. The connection forms quickly, but somehow everything happens on their terms. There can be an unspoken transaction at the heart of the relationship, a sense that you are valued for what you offer rather than who you are. They might disappear when you are no longer useful, leaving you wondering what you did wrong.