ASK PHILIPPA: "My friend has distanced herself from me"

A friendship vacancy is an opportunity

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The Problem

Hi Philippa,

I have a close friend of six years, but in the last year I feel she has purposely distanced herself from me. I am not invited to things I would have been invited to in the past, and when I suggest doing meeting up and doing something fun she says, Oh, I’ll see you at work (we work in the same building). I've tried to jokingly respond saying I'd like to see her outside of work (which we used to do often) but she brushes it off. It's a distinct change from how we used to be. She did invite me to her upcoming birthday night out which I was pleased about but leaves me a bit confused. I wonder if I did something to hurt her as it feels like it was a conscious choice to distance herself. I'd love to be closer again, is there any way to broach the subject or would I be better off just accepting the demotion in her life to work pal? It feels pathetic to bring it up but I really loved our friendship and the loss is so hurtful. Maybe I should accept the demise of this friendship and look for others.

The Answer